Me my self and I and my home town

I use to live in New Jersey I moved because bad things happened. They happened around the school , and my mom didn't want me around it.   There  was people shooting  up   the schools  and they were selling drugs and they didn't want anything to happen to me at the time because I was young. I left a few months later.

 When I was in New Jersey this is one thing i remember. I was youngand  I liked to hang out with one of my older cousins because he always took me and my brother place's. Butone cold night my mom and his was fight not using hands but with there mouth. He tried to talk to them and clam them down but  nobody would listen. So later on that night the cops came and said he was dead because he had ran is car  in water. Everyone went into shock and cried so me and my brother went into his room and sat their  thinking. Then he appeared  and said I love you guys and my mom walked in the room and he was gone.

 But I think that if i was the age I was he wouldn't have done it cause I would have listened to everything he had to say and how how he felt. Everyday I have to go through remembering that and it gets hard and harder everyday.

 That's I most of the time I'm so mean and I really don't talk much in school because people judge me from the outside and not the inside. No one really knows that much and that's why because they always judge people and never stop to ask questions. I walk around for hours not doing a thing and think about what it would be like with him here and not gone. But I look like a poor person looking for something to say. And I didnt know how to expalin how I felt to others because i was scared someone was going to judge me.